Tuesday, March 4, 2014

My Birthday Wishlist

This is my last week in my 20s {sigh..} I turn 30 on Sunday and as much as i LOVE my birthday i have to admit im not too excited about this one!!  Thirty is a hard pill to swallow for some reason and i cannot tell you why.  I am in a great marriage, I have a wonderful son, a job i absolutely love, we own our own home and we have a newish car that i am still head over heels in love with so what's with the anxiety about being 30????!  I think its just the stigma of not being in my 20s anymore....

In any event here are some things I am obsessing over and feel i need to make the transition to being 30 LOL

My Birthday Wishlist

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

My harsh reality

This is not easy to write but I need to get this off my chest as its weighing on my heart and i need an outlet.  This past weekend and last night really wore me down and it's all too much for me.  I am an almost 30 year old mother to a 4 year old and wife with a full time job who owns my own home and my mom has Alzheimer's.  My grandma (my mom's mom) had this as well.  My mom is in total denial and thinks she is fine and is fooling everyone.  She refuses to go see a doctor and I just feel so alone and overwhelmed.  Her good days are great but like last night, her bad days are bad.   
 
This past weekend I took my mom to my hair dresser as she was in dire need of a haircut and color after taking my son to his very first T-ball practice.  I thought a mother/daughter day would be something great and something she would look forward to but I was wrong.  My mom did not want to get out the car nor go in.  She acted like I was taking her to the vet and putting her down; it broke my heart.  I had to have my hair colored first to show her no one was going to hurt her {im not complaining about that fact bc my hair needed some love}.  Once she was inside, it was ok but I had my doubts in the parking lot.     
 
Last night my mom was upset with my step dad for no apparent reason.  He bought a new microwave {thanks god bc they've had the same one since I was in the 3rd grade..no joke!} so he had a friend come help  install the new one.  This upset my mom deeply; she knew the friend and has for years.  After the set up was all said and done, my step dad and his friend went out on the porch and were talking and my mom did not like this which upset her further resulting in her locking herself in her bedroom for HOURS.  I ended up getting a call from my aunt explaining all this to me and letting me know my mom was on the porch..outside...crying and I needed to call her.  I called her and after 30 minutes, calmed her down but she could not tell me why she was so visibly upset.  All she could tell me was how alone she felt and that everyone was trying to send her away {which couldn't be further from the truth}.  I pushed end and broke down into tears. 
 
After this past weekend and last night, I decided I needed to do more research and found these two books that I downloaded to my kindle and am hoping for some insight/advice.  Books and images were found on amazon. 
 

 
This whole situation is too much for me some days; I feel so hopeless.  I miss my mom; i miss our conversations, her great advice...all of it..i miss it all.  She's my only parent and watching her fall apart kills me.  Knowing how she must feel inside kills me.  Alzheimer's is a bitch!

Sorry I just really needed to get that off my chest.
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Years Fun

I used to get so hyped for New Years Eve.  I loved going dress, shoe and accessory shopping; sparkles are a girls best friend!  I loved making plans with my best girlfriends to go to a nice restaurant or the weekend in Tahoe or hosting an intimate party.  Now I'm all about family!  I can't wait to stay home with my boys and be in the safety and comfort of my own home.  I will still enjoy my bubbles and some yummy snacks and play games!  This year we are going to a friend's house right around the corner from us for a bit than coming home to have quality time and I wouldn't have it any other way.  It feels like a lifetime ago that I would get dressed up and party like a rock star; ill be lucky if this year I make it to midnight!  We are more of East Coast New Year celebrators LOL :D AAAAH motherhood! :) 

I would like to take a moment and reflect on this past year.  It has been a wonderful year and i feel so blessed.  We bought a new(ish) car, i turned 29, we got a puppy, we went to Disneyland for my monster's 4th birthday, we welcomed a beautiful healthy boy aka my nephew, i got a new job, hubby is following his career dreams and i cant wait to see where all his hard work takes him!   :)  It wasn't all smiles and Sunshine but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.  I have the best hubby a girl could ask for; he keeps me grounded and for that I am thankful! check out my instagram to see my flipagram i made!  http://instagram.com/sunflowersandthistles

My new years resolutions are to stay true to my plans.  To be frank, I'm a bit of a flake and i want to change that!  I WILL lose 15 pounds by my birthday ( i said last year 30 by my 30 BUT that probably wont happen so ill settle on 15 and go from there)...more to come on that next year! We will put more time and love into our home and i am going to take more time for me!  Moms never get that so this new year i think I'm going to be more selfish :) I'm also going to let things go and let the past be past!  What are your resolutions?!



Happy New Year all!  Have a safe and wonderful night xo




Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a tricky concept.  As one of my favorite movies, Just Friends, sings, "Forgiveness, is more than saying sorry.  Forgiveness means accepting peoples flaws.  To forgive is devine,  So lets have a glass of wine and have make up sex until the end of time, time, time.. LOL 

 But in all seriousness, forgiveness is something I have a hard time doing or maybe just the forgetting part.  Recently, I have been having dreams about an old friend and it has brought back a flood of memories.  We had some really fun times back in the day and I do miss those moments.  Over the weekend she found me on twitter, you can find me HERE, and started following me.  It has to be a sign right?!  I don't want her back in my life but I am having thoughts about possibly reaching out to her and making our past water under the bridge so to speak.  She behaved pretty badly and did some things I'm sure she's not proud of as am I.  I was so hurt and lashed out in some very immature ways.  She has since had a baby and babies have a tendency to put things in perspective.  I reached out to my BFF, Laura about it, who also is no longer with this old friend, and she warned me not to let her back in my life.  My head agrees with Laura but my heart disagrees a bit.   

There's also the other part of me that thinks maybe she's still pissed at me and has no intention of ever wanting to speak again.  Like I said, I behaved VERY poorly.  I don't want to reach out to have it bring everything back, ya know what i mean jelly beans?   

What are your thoughts on reconnecting with an old friend who hurt you?  I could really use an outside opinion....

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Laughter is the best medicine

Last weekend I celebrated my bff, Laura's birthday and we went wine tasting!  I havent been wine tasting since summer of last year which, when you live near Napa Valley, should be a crime!  Don't get me wrong, I drink my fair share of wine just from the comfort of my own home :D
 
I couldn't have asked for a better day, the sun was out, we rented a limo, had a yummy lunch in yountville and went to some great wineries all with great girlfriends!!!! I have always wanted to go to Paraduxx and I was not disappointed.  They have AMAZING reds!  The same goes for Robert Sinskey plus the staff there was wonderful.  We also visited Mumm for some bubbles; you cant wine taste without some yummy bubbles!!! :)

 



 
Have you all ever heard of Vivino app?  Its an app you can download for free and you can scan the wines you like and it saves them for you and will recommend other wines you might like!  check it out; its so handy!!!  Find me by searching Jordan Donaldson.

 
Lots of fun, laughter and celebrating was had! xoxo

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

New new new

THIS mama got a new job!  Gone are the days of being someone elese's keeper, (except at home of course), calendar, answering service, coffee fetcher and work wife.  Now I have my very own office and business cards plus a pretty discount on wine!!!!  I am so excited for this new transition!  Its a whole new ballfield for me and definitely out of my comfort zone but I am ready!  You, my friends, are looking at the new Compliance Coordinator for a Napa Winery! Stepping out of your comfort zone is difficult to do but with supportive friends and family its worth the risk.  I had worked at my previous job for 7 years but was ready for a change and boy did I get one! Everyday I learn something new and I love it!  I love getting up and going to work every morning now!!!

Naturally I got new hair (and shades) to go with my new adult job :D #brunetteshavemorefun


Lots of love!  Remember to follow your dreams and trust your (in my case) pie filled gut! xox
 

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Renting v. Buying

No this post isn't about housing; its about clothing!  I have one of my favorite couples wedding this month and I want to look good, however I don't want to spend a ton on a new dress that I probably won't wear again nor need.  I have been recycling my dresses through the handfuls of weddings we've had this past summer but I've worn all the appropriate wedding ones and sometimes a girl just wants something new.  
 
A friend of mine introduced me to www.renttherunway.com a couple years ago and swears by it but I've never rented anything.  For those of you that don't know renttherunway is a site where you can rent clothes, jewelry, purses, etc. that are all designer!  I've always wanted to rent but to me I would rather own.  For the first time in 2+ years, I'm actually considering renting some of their gorgeous dresses & jewelry.  Here's what I'm loving, tell me what you think?!  I want something fun but slightly sexy!  and WOWing my hubby would be a definite plus :)
 

I'm loving this Tracy Reese frock especially with the bow back.  Business in the front and party in the back FINALLY has new meaning friends!
 

 
I'm also loving the little black number with the bow sleeve but I also love me a good maxi and this my friends is a goooorgeous maxi!! I'm dying over the creamy sherbet orange color.  Tell me, which is your favorite look?
Since I'm uneasy about renting something for a wedding without trying it on especially with a company I've never used before, I have rented a couple different outfits for a bachelorette party I'm going to this weekend to see what I think and I couldn't be more excited about my choices!!!!  Can you tell I'm digging the sequins right now.  The attire for this weekend is LBD (little black dress)  so this romper was a perfect choice and I just love this Milly Chained to you dress; it looks so comfy and fun!  I would've rented the black bow number from above but sadly my size wasn't available for this weekend.

 
I'll report back next week! xoxo