I have been doing a lot of thinking and pondering over the last month. I received an email that through me through a loop hole. It was from an ex friend wishing me well on my wedding last month and wanting to make things right. I was and still am in shock and don't really know how to respond to it. My feelings towards her are neutral. I don't wish ill on her; I wish her all the best wherever life takes her. To add to my mixed emotions we have mutual friends. I hate that I get warned when she is going to be somewhere I may be. We aren't kids anymore!!! I can coexist and act like an adult and she should be able to also. She was a friend who I had a BLAST with when i was 21..22..23 because all we did was party. I'm not in that place anymore. I have a husband , a son, and a house. THAT just isn't a priority anymore. I feel for her it is... She was a friend that no matter what i knew we would have fun, however, she was also one of those people that needed to have the power. It's like she fed off your insecurities because it made her feel powerful. She needed you to need her and the minute you didn't need her that's when everything crumbled. Now that i have my son, i know the type of friends i want around and those i don't. I don't know if I want to let her back in. Although, she wasn't all bad and there are some days that I genuinely miss hanging out with her. I miss our road trips, random trips to costco for a hot dog, and the days when we were a foursome! We laughed a LOT and she was there for me during some difficult times. Her friendship reminds me of my favorite Poem, "Reason, Season, Lifetime" If you haven't read it, DO! I have it framed in my house! From what I hear, she has changed. More recently than not. After having a child, I would hope any mother in their right mind would change (sadly this is not always the case). I have no problem being friendly... She just isn't the person i want around my son. Although people do change, right???
This email came rolling in after another falling out, with my ex MOH, rather Maid of DIShonor (thank you Bridesmaids!!!) They didn't get along either. They had their issues and part of us ending our friendship was because of my then friendship with my ex-MOH. She stole from her, lied to her and me, and basically her true colors came to light. Since my ex-MOH ended our friendship & pulled out of my wedding a month before I wed, several things have popped into my ever-so-curious head. The events may have been different but the endings were the same. My ex-MOH and 2 other girlfriends (whom I still remain close with (i do keep friends I promise) we all lived together. There is a reason I'm tying these two stories into one blog so bare with me! The ex-MOH ended up moving out of the house for reasons which I truly do not remember. Something about a big blowup downtown. In any event, the same thing that happened to me on my Bach. party happened than too!!!! She met someone new that was fascinated with her and she dropped the old like a bad habit making herself believe something that was never there! After looking at pictures from my bridal shower and my Bach. party you can see it in her face how she hated that the spotlight wasn't on her. At the beginning of my shower, her face is happy because everyone was blown away at what she had to put together (it was beautiful) but as I'm opening the presents, her face looks unhappy... The same thing in Vegas for my Bach. party. At the airport, happy, in our fabulous hotel that she booked, she's happy because the spotlight was on her but out on Saturday night (our BIG night celebrating me, the reason we WERE there) she looks miserable because no one was fussing over her!!!!!!!!!! It's almost like she can't have more than one friend at a time. Almost like it overwhelms her. I should have listened to my girlfriends when she broke up with them for her husband because she broke up with me for someone else.
Life is just so funny. I know that everything happens for a reason. i just wish sometimes you knew what those reasons were!!! Anyone want to shed some light on what my response to my email should be???